All Aboard!

Keep Your Daughters Off The Pole...The room is somewhat empty. Yet it is well lit, so I shouldn't' complain. I remember what Chris Rock once said. "A dad's only goal is to keep his daughter off the pole!" What would my dad say at this point? I've always wanted to make my dad proud and never disappoint him. However, a girl's gotta do, what a girl's gotta do.

Here I am, staring hard at the sterling, silver pole. The cocktails are flowing. Without the cocktails, I couldn't do this, let alone survive. The few men in attendance appear to be laid back so I don't anticipate any problems. For women like me, it's a matter of survival. I don't think that women wake up and say, "Yep, I think I'll work the pole today!" Is it what I want for my girls? No, I don't even want my girls to know what the pole looks like! Yet, here I am and ready to go. You would think some music would help. But there's no music and no wide screen TV. There isn't anybody even asking me to "drop it like it's hot!" .

All eyes are on me and I know it. I'm starting to feel a little light-headed. Oh come on Judie, this isn't your first time! Take a deep breath, you can do this. Remember, it's all about survival. I remind myself to stay focused on the goal.

Oh, the goal. How many of us get through the day because we have a goal? You know, the light at the end of the tunnel. My train is quickly moving through the tunnel and I see that's there's light. I don't question my journey. My faith is strong and I trust and worship a true and All-Powerful God. So, as my girlfriend always says, "Put on your big girl panties and move on". Okay, based on the situation at hand, I almost hate to mention "panties". That being said, I do have on a cute pair. It's the little things that get me though the day. Yes, for me it's panties.
I stand close to the sparkling pole. I wrap my hands around it ever so tightly. I slowly lift myself up. I know not to make any eye contact. I am ever so careful. This would not be the day to trip and fall. Besides, the shoes I've choosen are not the best. However they are cute. I've worked this pole over 100 times. Carefully, I place one foot in front of the other. No need to be shy. Besides, all eyes are still on me. How sad would it be at this point in my life if I couldn't get at least one man to give me a once over? I notice Susan and I whisper to her, "Where is everyone today?" I don't think it's ever been this slow. I make my big move. I think the men knew I was struggling today.

The bathroom is only a few steps away, I know I can make it. I'm holding my sparkling, IV/chemo pole tightly. I've learned that I can unplug it and walk around the chemo center with my sterling silver pole. Oh, yes I can work a pole. I am holding that pole tight. The medicine is really kicking in. I should have gone to the bathroom before the cocktails took effect. My goal now is to make it back to my favorite chemo seat without any drama.

Considering this is my second round with breast cancer, you would think that I knew that you could walk around with your pole. No, no one bothered to tell me. I would just sit in my seat and read. Now that I know, I walk around. I've unplugged my pole to comfort a dear friend that arrived with her mom, I've worked my pole across the room to grab new magazines, I've even made it back to the snack bar (when was someone going to mention snacks ... I would have worked this pole a lot faster, had I known about the food!).

So, heading off to chemo isn't as bad as you may think. Once you learn to work the pole, the possibilities are endless. How far can I go with a pole? Don't know. However, what I do know is, I respect the pole and all the women that have learned to work the pole at chemo.

Now, back to the men. Yes, it was the only day that there were just men at chemo. Not a woman to be found, besides me. Where were the ladies that day? I don't know, but I do know that I made them proud. I worked that pole and didn't even fall. My daddy would have been so proud of me. Yes, it may be a dad's goal to keep his young lady off the pole, but in this case, I know my daddy would say, "Girl, Work That Pole!" So let's be careful what goals we place for ourselves and others. No, I've never worked the other pole. But, a girl's gotta do, what a girl's gotta do. It's called the dance of survival.