Tuesday, January 6

Shrek and Donkey...Oh how I love a good craft store. I am truly not partial to any one in particular. I specifically banned my family from Garden Ridge. I just don’t think that they show the proper amount of respect for those of us that could spend hours just looking at crafty ideas (yes, I said hours) and yet, we may not purchase a thing. Still, I could spend an entire day in bed resting up for an evening at Garden Ridge. I can envision the sale signs. I always make a bee-line for the candles. I’ve never seen so many sizes, colors, scents and discounts. Garden Ridge, Here I Come … You’ve Been Warned! I don’t ask for much in life, but at this point I just want to get to Garden Ridge.

I had decorated the tables with candles (as usual) and everyone was having a “ball”. Thanks to the local craft store, the decorations and theme were perfect. Rob and I drove separately so that I could get everything set-up on time. Oh, how I love to decorate and plan a party. I do remember that the party was fun. It was a year-end celebration.

The event went off without a hitch. Trying to pack a car after an event is usually more stressful than the party itself. I remember everyone trying to help pack the car so that I could head out on my long journey home. I vaguely remember backing out of the driveway. There appeared to be more than the usual chatter of friends trying to assist me as I was attempting to back out. That should have been a clue. It seemed liked it took forever. I rolled down my window as I felt my blood pressure rising. I assumed that some fresh air would be a plus. I can see Garden Ridge is off in the distance as I’m traveling down I-85. It’s somewhat of a blur, but I know it’s there. Oh Lord, I just want to make it to the Garden Ridge exit. My favorite place to be and I don’t have anyone with me. How happy could a woman be? But this is one time when I’m not happy because all of a sudden I realize that I need help. Not a 12-step program for addicted, craft junkies, but I realize that I am sick and feel as if I’m about to pass out. I am totally aware of my surroundings as I can see Garden Ridge in the distance. But I didn’t even get to check out their candles. Just a few more yards, and I can call for help. I am now begging for the Lord above to take over.

I immediately dial my husband; no answer. I call my girlfriend who is at the same party. “HELP, where is my husband?” She immediately tells me to pull the car over and then explains that Rob has just left. She calls Rob. I make it to the top of the ramp. At this point I just want a safe place to pull over. I could care less about Garden Ridge or the sale that I know they’re having. I’m going down FAST and I know it! As usual, I begin to pray.

My original thought was to pull over at the local gas station. Oops, missed that opportunity. I know that I can’t turn around; it wouldn’t be safe at this point. I decided that I would pull into the next location. It’s a bank. I know that they’ll have a security camera, so that I will feel safe. For some reason I pulled around to the back of the bank. I made sure that all the doors were locked, and the heat is on full blast. I reclined the seat and took a good nap. I’m not sure if I was napping or just passed out completely. I knew that my husband and friend would arrive soon. It just seemed like it took hours and that time was passing so slowly.

Now, what I was not planning on was the possibility of a mug shot of “Lake Norman’s Chemo Celebrity” hidden behind SunTrust bank in what appeared to be a drunken stupor. Besides, who hides behind a bank? I promise you, I haven’t had a drink in over a year. Nor have I ever plotted a bank heist. How will I ever explain this one? The parking lot is dark and gloomy and for some reason, I feel safe. Once again, I clearly didn’t think this through. I truly know that my “wheel” had been taken over by a Higher Power.

Rob and the gang arrive. As in the movie Shrek, I’ve got a friend that will leave you laughing. I’ve never been so happy to see her. Let’s just call her my favorite Donkey. Donkey is talkative, enjoys singing and idle chatter, which proves rather annoying to those around her. All I remember is her saying, “It will take me awhile to get used to your car”… I can hear her talking, but I’m unaware of what she is talking about or, why she’s talking. I’m truly thinking, “Are you kidding me? … Just Help Me!”

You could’ve tied me to the roof of my car and announced that I was Christmas dinner, and I would still be the most blessed child on earth. My fingers are swollen and feel as if they’ve been slammed in a car door, and my eye looks like I’ve lost a match with Ray Jones, Jr. (not a bad thing I must add). At this point I could give Shrek a good run for his money. I was, as they say, “Tore Up from the Floor Up!” I couldn’t dress cancer up this month if I tried. The side effects of chemo are definitely playing a game with me, and I’m not winning this round.

I remember going to bed and thanking God that I made it through the night. I know you’re wondering, what happened? … Wish I knew. What I do know for sure is that Jesus took the wheel, when I admitted to him that “I was letting go … cause I can’t do this on my own … He was willing to save me from the road I was on...” Yes, we all know the tune, we all sing the song. But, how many of us truly know when it’s time to ask someone else to take the wheel and admit that we can’t do this on our own? And, at the same time admit that this would not be the best time for my first mug shot.

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